Monthly Archives: October 2011

Jerusalem murder dream

I dream that I’m going to Jerusalem with my high school boyfriend, who has, in the past 20 years, become a very religious Breslev Jew. We’re going with him and three of his children. We climb up a tower–it’s a site of some sort of Jewish celebration. It’s a place he very much wants to go to. The tower requires us to climb a ladder, precarious metal against the tower. We reach the top. We see what we’re looking for (of course I can’t remember what that is), but also at the top is a suspicious pro-Palestinian NGO, made creepy by the fact that we see some Dutch guy leaving it, zipping up his pants–it’s clear that he’s using the NGO as a site for exploitative sex. We watch the sunset, watch the sunrise. When we go down the ladder, my friend is suddenly angry. He’s going down the ladder in a way that feels dangerous to me. We hit a landing. He’s bare-chested, and animal like in his rage. I tell him to pull his shit together, cool down, grow up. And I wait on the landing, because I don’t feel comfortable climbing back down until he’s entirely at the bottom. But then, as he gets off of the tower and I begin to carefully climb down, I feel shaking. He’s shaking the tower down with his bare hands so that he can kill me.

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